‘Tis the season to be dressed up! ‘Tis. All halloooooween’s eve is almost upon us and that means children and opportunistic adults alike should all be preparing their tricking and/or treating attire. But if you haven’t been thinking much about getting out and having fun then we’ve got you covered… in a Halloween costume that is!
10. The Joker
An oldie but a goldie. What better way to memorialize the tragic death of a beloved actor from over a decade ago than by slapping on some face paint and calling it a day? Thankfully there’s a new iteration of this iconic character every year so this low-effort costume never goes out of style.
It’s quick and simple and gives you the opportunity to dig out that mediocre impression that you can do. The presence of this creepy murderer will be sure to make you the life of the party, just don’t forget your knife!
9. Guy Who Couldn’t Think Of A Costume In Time
A variation of the classic ‘guy who doesn’t like halloween’, guy who couldn’t think of a costume in time lets you wear whatever you like so long as it looks like regular clothes. The more unwashed with a little stain the better. The aim is to be ironic and cool and as detached from the festivities as possible!
8. A Jar Of Lard
Here are two things that lard and you have in common: no one likes you. We’re talking gross, we’re talking slimy, we’re talking just completely pointless and lard is all these things as well. Dressing up as a big fat jar of lard is just an all-time perfect fit for someone like you. Do it, loser.
7. A French Person
Now, before we get sued again I just want to clarify: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FRENCH PEOPLE. All of my best friends are French and there’s nothing to say that you reading this right now are not also happening to be a French. Having said that, it would be just a bit weird, wouldn’t it, you know to dress up as a French for the hallows? Just a bit strange. Like, what? And that makes it the perfect costume.
6. Nebraska’s Fourth Congressional District
This one’s a topical one! We’re coming up to the election period night, so how better a way to remind everyone of their need to get out and vote please than by a human version of Nebraska’s 4th congressional district? Yes, this district became obsolete in 1963 but that’s exactly why no one else will have thought of this congressional district for a Halloween costume.
5. Elvis
He’s dead, move on Terry. No, you can’t have ‘ghost of dead Elvis’ either. Wait, I’ve lost track of whether I’m recommending these costumes or just dunking on Terry. But seriously though he doesn’t listen to anything else. And he goes as Elvis every year. Stop.
4. A Slutty Avacado
Oooh, so sexxxy! There’s nothing sluttier than a juicy, fruity avocado! Avocados are the sluttiest of vegetables/fruits! Round and plump! Purple, green, red, orange, brown they’re all delicious! Smooth and buttery! Hard inedible secret inside bit! Yes! Just don’t forget your knife!
3. A Pun
Here’s the pitch, you’re a box of Cheerios buuuuuut you’ve got a knife! No! You’re a CEREAL killer of course! Great, it’s perfect and original. Guaranteed to have everyone exhaling out of their noses slightly in laughter! Just don’t forget your knife!
2. Your Mother
Your mother is a saint. She was always there for you from grave to cradle and tonight is your chance to pay her the respect she’s owed. Sneak into her house. Remove choice items of clothing and makeup from her wardrobe. Buy a cheap wig with a vaguely similar hair tone and boom: the perfect Halloween costume/general casual dress. Just don’t forget your knife!
1. Yourself
In the mirror stares back cold, haunted eyes that seem unfamiliar. Maybe they were once yours but there’s no laughter there. Surely this isn’t you? New clothes feel like deception but old clothes reek of faded nostalgia. It’s not just the fabrics: the food you eat, the work you do, the media you watch, none of it ever felt like a choice you made. Everything is a costume. It frightens you. But far more frightening is the unshakeable feeling that if you ever take the costume off, there will be nothing underneath.
So that’s our list! Comment below with what you’re wearing for Halloween!
The post Top 10 Halloween Costumes For People Who Hate Themselves first appeared on Wall Street Memes.